Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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