Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
It was like getting head from an anaconda
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I need to align my fucking chakras
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
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