I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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