This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
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I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
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