I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
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