I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
sarcasm needs its own font
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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