Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
