I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
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