Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Randomize
