they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
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