Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Randomize
