Need sex. Gaining weight.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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