I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
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