I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Randomize
