You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
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Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
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I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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