I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
In other news, I just burned my penis
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
