i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.