Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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