My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
