hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Randomize
