I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Hippo gnu deer
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input