I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
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I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Vodka?
Forever.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
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I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
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