there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.