I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
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We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
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That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.