tell your sister to shave her snatch
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
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