yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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