can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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