are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Are my feet made of real feet?
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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