Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize