How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Randomize
