If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news