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if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I will pee on everything he values.
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