I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Please. i have SOME standards
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?