Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize