I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize