WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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