ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
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Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
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Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
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