weddingsv make me drug and hornr
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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