I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?