McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
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His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
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I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.