thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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