Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
