Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
she told me i tasted like america
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
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