porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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