Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
