I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize