I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize