lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
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