The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
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