ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
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