She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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