I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize