I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
