you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
