Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Randomize
