fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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